we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
