guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
