I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's always time for handjobs
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
