Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
