1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
