He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
