On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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