I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
