did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
