Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
