'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she peed on how many people?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
