All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
