girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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