remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
