So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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