I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
