it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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