; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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