His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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