summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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