Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
