end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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