so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
