What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
