if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
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