haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
