ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
