They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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