I will die if light touches me.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
