hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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