Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
