Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
