so explain again why im purple
no
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
