On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
