Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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