The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
