5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
