3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
