it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
