big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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