He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
