How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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