What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
