i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
As shirtless as possible
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
