omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
