Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
