I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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