Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think my vagina is haunted
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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