And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
