..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
