VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
