My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
