wat bout pragnant strippers??
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
